An ice-cold wind is blowing. It seems to me that the earlier rest only served to recharge the batteries. This statement can be taken either pessimistically or realistically.

From a pessimistic point of view, it means that the energy that was recharged is already gone. You're left with nothing. That which you had for a short time has simply vanished.

But on the realistic level, this means that you have previously received what was necessary to be able to handle the next thing that comes.

So it happens that the ice-cold wind is still there, my external circumstances have not changed.

But I am not at the same point as I was a few weeks ago, my inner circumstances are not the same. I have been equipped with various things.

Sure, there were also setbacks and renewed downturns. And yes, they still look ugly. But I managed the first two levels, and I'm not going to let that get me down at this level after all!

Whatever builds up in front of me to knock me down, I counter it with the lines of The Score from "Head Up":

I gotta keep my head up up up up
Up above the water, up above the water
Gotta keep my head up up up up
I'm never going under, never going under
As long as air's in my lungs
Blood's in my veins
I'm not going down this way
I gotta keep my head up up up up
Up above the water, up abovе the water

I move through life like a knight on the chessboard. I dare say that the knight is my favorite piece in this strategy game. The basic rules by which it is allowed to move on the chessboard fit really well with my current situation. Sometimes it takes two steps forward and one sideways, and sometimes I have to take two steps to the side first, rest briefly, and then I'm allowed to take a strong step forward. Here comes the best thing: it is the only piece that can jump over others. Imagine, not even the queen, which is the most powerful piece on the board, has this ability!
Each chess piece has been given unique abilities so that it is able to do its job.

Also I may receive exactly the abilities, which I need in the respective moment. The great challenge: accepting these and learning to master them. Unfortunatley this does not come in an all-inclusive package...

It happens that it catches me and I fall into old patterns. Then I notice how it tries to lift me up in the air again and whirl me around. When I stand against it and consciously decide not to repeat the same mistake, I feel how the dark uncertainty wants to draw me into the cold depths.

So I try to keep the balance between the storm above me and the cold depth below me and to concentrate only on the next step. This is to come into the calm, and to adjust the view again on Jesus.
Let me be honest.

Sometimes it's really difficult, but failure is part of life. We are not supposed to be perfect, but progressive. It is simply important that we do not give up, and learn from what has passed.

No master did ever fell from the sky...


Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God!

*The knight is the only piece which can jump over other pieces. Its move is slightly bent. One square either horizontally or vertically and then one square diagonally. Or the other way round: one square diagonally and then the other square horizontally or vertically. As it moves it leaps over any pieces which are on the intervening squares. This ability of the knight compensates for its limited range. 

If an opposing piece is on its target square it is captured and the knight takes its place.
Knights feel most at home in the centre of the board. On the edge they suffer from their lack of range and they can only control half the number of squares from there. They become especially dangerous when they are close to the opposing camp since they can seek targets behind protecting pawns.